myjournalandme

i sit and stare at my computer screen, at my clock, i lie down with the lights on looking at the ceiling, looking at the empty parts of my walls. my minds a total blank, my body feels lethargic about everything.

whats wrong with me i dont know.

i guess everyone has their _____(blank) moments in life. when nothing seems to bother them, nothing seems important and there basically nothing to do. am i so entwined into a certain way of life that i cant do nothing and just be free for a few hrs without feeling this way?

yet another post thats not exactly related to me or how i am doing (obviously, cant u read the title?). i guess i've kinda grown unattached to my livejournal after entering ns, i also feel that i cant really write what i want to anymore or really talk bout things happening because doing so will cause stuff in life to get pretty messed up. and i'm just not ready to do the cleaning up yet.

but anw, this is about my father, guess what he's a golf champion! ok not at the tiger woods level or anything, it was more of a charity competition and amateur level thing, but im still really proud of him. he's always supported my pool, in spirit and sometimes financially, so obviously im really happy and proud that he's achieved something for his own hobby.

he doesnt say much unless i talk to him, he doesnt give much of what he feels away. but i know he cares and is happy bout his 'performance' today. he brought home quite alot of goodies as well...i got an ipod nano ;) and our family car's gonna get its first gps.
well then this ends my short post for dad =)

just happen to be facebook-ing around...came across this website:

http://www.coffeestainsphotography.com/

started and being run by a person that has always viewed me from a interestingly different perspective not to mention a true friend of mine, i owe him much in both my set of pool skills as well as my views and ways i deal with certain issues.

i dont think many or even any of my readers plan to get married soon (its a wedding photography website) but just click on the link and enjoy the art. for what motivates an artist is not so much the cash, but people viewing and appreciating his hard work.

to Chris if your reading this, its a blessing to do what we love and im glad for you. all the best! 

well i just finished my basic section leader course in sispec a few days ago, im happy i got through the whole thing and it actually was really different from what i thought it will be.

just a short post to thank God for the good times i had in sispec, made a few friends, learnt a fair bit of stuff, realised how much i like to run and perhaps got fitter (some reason for doubt). 

many other good things have happened in the past month, shall just name a random few, firstly my posting to artillery as an instructor. at least i'll have a slacker life and i have time to do more civilian activities. 
got to spend a really short but cool time with jason wong whose flying off really soon.
good food in this cny month.
and of course i've had really book outs this month. my weekends are precious and i got to spend them really well.

ok i dont know how to end this off, perhaps a random pic? i'll do just that =]

i just realised that the last time i posted was during the new yr, and now the post following that is during chinese new yr. i guess i just cant find the time or am too lazy to really type out what has been going through my mind (and there have been many things). many things because of the time u spend waiting for things to happen in the army, the time out in the jungle where i really get to see the wonders of nature and creation. i wonder if nature left alone is already this nice, then how much nicer it would have been in the garden of eden where it was pristine and perfect.
many more thoughts like these are kept somewhere within the mini mind of mine (and i do mean mini cos i somehow really feel that a few months in army have made me think slower and you could crudely describe it as, stupid).

but thats not what im here to write about today, chinese new yr has been a tradition through the ages. but it has interestingly evolved into an event or time of the yr thats totally different from what it was in the past.

and i'm glad it has. of course people generally still do the normal stuff of visiting others, but not as hardcore as in the past where u practically go to see everyone you know. i still receive the red packets with cash in them, i get to eat the snacks till im too full for lunch/dinner.

however, what im glad it has become for me is not an old chinese tradition which i keep because i have to. but it has become a valuable 4 or 5 days break from army life where i get to do stuff i want to do and spend time with my family. sure we do visit but the other half of the day is normally at home. that has left time for me to slack and just be a bum at home, something i havent done for the last 4 months.

my father himself has benefit from such a break, i've never really seen him this happy and crazy before. my fathers actually a really light hearted person but its work that has him looking serious and stressed out all the time. this 5 days without going to office has brought his true crazy self back out. think of the nonsense i do X 2.

all in all, this break has been a good one, starting from the last minute chinese new yr shopping to the days spent aimlessly at home with my family.
i hope yours was as enjoyable as mine =)

to start off i would like to wish a Happy New yr to one and all!

at long last i got to book out on friday night instead of saturday afternoon, hence the time to go through my ho chin minh photos and get them sorted out in the correct folder.

i'll just post them here in no specific sequence, some with random captions...


a simple restaurant and this is their local delicacy, cat fish and stewed pork cooked together in a ceramic pot. in this case it was done really well and the balance between both flavors were just right, the gravy eaten with the rice was heavenly. of course i was unfortunate enough to try a lousier version of it somewhere else and it stinked of the strong fish taste (poor cleaning and seasoning).


my first million (technically it is)


motorcycles are very affordable even for the poor, thank the china imports. ratio of cars to bikes? my estimate is at least 1:200




random pics from a day tour i took


food! and the crank pot contraption is actually their version of coffee, the metal thing at the top is the filter for the grounded coffee beans. how does it taste like? well its kopi o gao X3, it certainly stunned me awake after just 1 sip.
\

my fathers favorite noodle shop, super old school- the fat man sitting down was still taking noodles and hand-made wanton out of a wooden drawer in front of him. simple food but rich in flavor, the important thing was the springy texture of the noodles and the pork fat oil which made the whole thing work.

vietnam used to be a french colony, so i guess they learnt ice cream from them! but who cares who taught them, it tasted good. their bread is also really similar to french loaf and pretty fragrant when eaten plain with a little butter.

the rest will be pics of ho chin minh i took while roaming the streets aimlessly,






ho chin minh was what i was looking for, to go to a place i never knew anything about, experiencing a change of environment for a few days. to be shocked, to not know what to expect or see. and of course...a break from anything back here that was important to me. my father actually said it was like singapore in the 70's.
a really cheap trip if you exclude the air fair, $500 sgd is the max you can spend (your welcome to prove me wrong) if your not planning on going to gucci or etc.

in conclusion, ho chin minh is a place where everyone's experience there will be significantly different, whether you have a good time or not, thats not for me to decide.
to the spolit brats who need to have aircon or cant stand a dusty or damp street, please dont waste your time or money going there and certainly dont complain bout the place if you still insist on going.


till next time, ciao!

its 4am in the morning and i have church tmr, just got home from timbre and supper but i was thinking about stuff and i just had to note this down before i forget.

i know pple usually do such a post when its the actual new yr but i was just thinking abt my 2008 and i thought of the 7 things which i would like to give thanks for:

1) My trip to vietnam, where i saw a country that was poor but it had a very positive attitude and the willingness to slug it out to improve their lives. a real inspiration- i certainly wish i'll be as hardworking as the vietnamese.

2) That i kept in touch with a decent number of secondary school friends, after all one of the best times i've had in life was with my secondary 4 class.

3) Simply for my best friend qi bing, never hesitating to be direct and tell me her opinions or object to any bias thinking that i may have (ok i'm making her sound so fierce, but what i mentioned is what best friends are made out of). a friend is easy to come by, a good friend; much harder, but you only get a few best friends in life.

4) The 3 really good friends, ck, daryl and adam that i made in BMT, i never thought that i would be able to find such good friends (not to mention 3 of them all from my bunk) in the army. been to countless parts and places in singapore that i've never been before and going with people whom you actually feel a real connection to makes it even cooler.

5) My family, while i am outfield, its the thought of going home that keeps me going.

6) That i decided to stay in church. (won't go into the details of this one)

7) I learnt that doing things and going out alone can be quite fun and it gives me some 'me time'. used to think that it'll be really boring running errands or going shopping alone and etc, but it actually saves you alot of time as well cause i find myself going straight to the point. have to thank jocelyn for this one (i followed her example). 

Merry Christmas everyone! hope that all of you enjoy this festive holiday period and spend it wisely.

u know the best thing i receive every yr isnt the chocolates, the interesting presents or even the huge turkey dinner with my family...but its the simple card or note thats painstakingly handwritten, the encouragement, the recollections of things that happened in the yr, the well wishes and its the sincerity of it that just warms my heart everytime i read them.
it lets me know that there are people who care and it just brightens my day. 

lastly i want to thank the people who read my journal for supporting me as i use the internet as a means of keeping in touch and letting all of you know that i'm doing pretty ok (probably all the time).
 
=)

yes, as per title. im going to pasir laba camp and im in sispec from this coming monday onwards. im pretty fine with this though i am not sure if i shd aim to crossover to ocs. please take note that i use the word aim. because i myself am not sure yet, i guess like i normally do i'll just make decisions and take things as they come.

well not much to say now, o ya....vietnam was great! i went there for a change of environment for a few days and i definitely got that, a few culture shocks here and there. too lazy to type bout that now, my picss are quite messed up and not arranged yet so i'll post them soon.

for now i guess i'll just add some color to my journal with a few pictures with my BMT friends. i do hope most of us can continue to keep in touch.



one of our outings

two of my best friends from BMT


well yeah, thats about all for now.

its certainly the festive season and for all those in the mood i wish you a Merry Christmas! (this is just in case army's too busy and i dont have the chance to wish you on the day itself).

it was a pretty emotional experience for me, the thought of not seeing people whom i have grown so close to over the past 3 months. all the tough times we've been through together just made the bond between us all stronger.

i've been really sick the entire day, sleeping the whole day. think i've been awake only 3 out of the past 24 hrs. i dont chao keng but even i know when its time to see the doctor. got spammed with 7 different kinds of medicine for diarrhea, flu and fever. hope i recover in time for my trip.

btw i just got perhaps every single song from a few of my favorite bands! have to thank daryl for all of them =)
just happy that no matter how sick i am, i'm still able to enjoy music.

well, not exactly...its actually in a days time. i'm now slacking at home on this hari raya holiday. gotta book in at 1530 later.

schedule as follows: book in, pack for route march, eat dinner, sleep, wake up at about 3am, start the 24km route march, rest for abit, go for my pop parade. hectic tuesday, and after that i'm done with my basic military training.
theres mix feelings about completing bmt, im gonna miss staying with almost all my bunk mates, somehow living with 11 other guys is quite fun, all the nonsense we talk about and the crap we do. theres a special bond in nearly the entire bunk and i must mention that they made my booking in's easier and my 3 months enjoyable.

of course when its time to move on we just have to, thats life and i hope that which ever part of the army i get sent to, i'll have just as enjoyable experience. i certainly wont be complaining about being home more, to just stay at home, perhaps read a book or the newspapers, go for a run or swim when i feel like it.

i am also going over to vietnam for a short holiday with my father, its slightly less than 5 days. it'll be a good bonding time for us and its a good chance for me to see the city that my father has diversified his business to.

seems to be that there always will be tons of thoughts and details i want to mention here with no where to begin and no motivation to type. i think i'll procrastinate and talk bout them next time when im really free (which is i dont know when).

but anyway, happy POP to the rest of the bmt guys and i'll post more probably when i get back from viet. ciao!

never really posted immediately before i have to get changed and go book in.

but i think this being my 2nd last book in to tekong, perhaps i will try to record my feelings on booking in. it really makes you feel like crap, it makes you wonder why the weekend passes so fast, you wonder when you will be free enough to have one day to do one particular thing instead of needing to squeeze and arrange a timetable which can include all your social life and fun in 2 days.

all this is just part and parcel of army i know...and it will just remain this way or get worse depending on where i get posted to. i want to go to ocs or command school and the sacrifice is even bigger due to the time outfield in the jungle or etc and not being able to come out every weekend. at times i wonder whether indicating strong interest in going to command school was the correct thing to do; this is one of the times.

of course there are positive aspects of command school like what i'll learn ,my pay and position. i guess its just an opportunity cost. since i've already chosen and stated my interest, i'll stick with it. sulk bout it when i need to, get the most out of it the rest of the time.

my next post...sometime in the near future will consist of happier stuff i hope.

for those who dont know, POP= Passing Out Parade. that will signify the end of my basic military training and i will be ready to be posted out to another unit. my hope is to go to command sch, either sispec or ocs (i do prefer the latter).

3 months seemed to have flew by and i never knew that i would learn so much army stuff, and more importantly- so much more about myself and what really matters to me. i also have a rough thanksgiving list in my mind atm.
its nearly 2 in the morning and i shant elaborate on all of that now, maybe when i have free time during my 2 wk break while waiting for my posting results from 10th dec- 22th dec (i'm going to viet with my dad one of the weeks though ^^ ).

anyway i just came back from the World Aids Day concert@fort canning park, consisted of all local acts. those who know me will realise im a fan of only a certain spectrum of music, quite abit of the pop and chinese songs werent that interesting. the comedy/musical part was also surprisingly entertaining for me.
waiting for the facebook pics before i post some here for the sake of making the journal a little more colorful.

im going to find something to eat before heading to bed now, good night =)

something i heard today, though a little morbid but has meaning and makes some sense:

death tugs at my ear and says: "live now, for i am coming for you soon".

well im not sure if i have any indian hindu readers, but being in the multi-racial society were living in it no harm wishing...

Happy Deepavali!

of course all the army people like me will be glad we got an extra day off...and not to forget, get to watch the chelsea-liverpool match which ended 1-0 in favor of liverpool.

met up with my poly friends yesterday after church, its been like a month since we met. with the exception of judette and aslam (who's in scdf) , all the rest of us are in the army. it made up the bulk of the conversations. army somehow becomes a common topic once your in it or go through it.
watched tropic thunder with them which is a really funny show, directed, produced and starring ben stiller, cant expect anything less.

a few of us headed down to siam reap by indochine@holland village after that for the match. just planned to go hv and stumbled upon the place and the couch was free! interesting vietnamese restaurant bar, just a nice chill place.


met a few of my army section mates again for supper, second time so far...i guess its a good thing that though we see each other everyday from monday-saturday afternoon, we still get to know each other out off camp and army.

i realised i deviated quite alot from the original purpose of wishing everyone a happy holidays. i guess i added in a short update of my sunday, anything beats booking into camp i guess.

feeling deviod of energy now, probably gonna take a nap. bye! =)